It is the voice of Satan. He whispers in my ear all of the lies that plant seeds of doubt and confusion. I listen to the first whisper, "That was a really dumb thing to say." Then the next, "Other preachers say that a lot better." Then it just seems to continue, "What is wrong with you? Are you sure you are suppose to do this? Why doesn't your church like you?!" The whisper grows into a scream that I simply cannot shake.
Typically, even though it takes me a while, I realize this for what it is...lies from the evil one! Many of those time the realization comes from Leah speaking directly to me the truth from God. When I hear the truth, I battle again for the ground I lost to the evil one. I remind him he has no presence in me because I belong to God! God has paid the price!
I wasn't put on this earth to be the best preacher ever made. I wasn't put here to fix all of the problems of the people or organization either. Simply, I am here to glorify God by using the gifts He has given me to bring his message to the world. I'm reminded of 2 Corinthians 4:7 "But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us."
There are good things happening all around me. God is the author of these things. I think we all need this reminder.
The truth is that there are terrible things in the world and sometimes we are not who we should be or do what we should. However, we must remember that God works through us...weakness and all.
God is working through you too! Choose to believe that His power is working even through your weakness and if you hear the whispers of the evil one, find a truth-teller who will speak the Spirit back into your life.