Even when you live on an island, you have a "Wilson."  Tom Hanks had to use Wilson to keep his sanity on a deserted island.  Who keeps your sanity when you feel all alone?

When ministers are stranded they need a consistent presence to help them through the darkness.  It's not fair to the minister's family for his spouse, children, parents, or siblings to be that only consistent presence.  Sure, you will require the support of family as you live out ministry.  However, you should never burden your spouse with being the only ear you bend in times of crisis.  Your spouse may have agreed to your job and supports your job, but unless they are being paid by the church too; it's not their job.  Above that they are trying to worship where you work and build relationships with those you are shepherding.  Give your family your concerns, your victories, your seasons of doubt and dismay, but don't pin them down as your counselor and punching bag for when things are sour.

A minister needs someone who will appreciate them for who they are, give them a long line of grace, and not be willing to leave them there.  "A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity." -Proverbs 17:17 "A Friend is someone who knows all about you and loves you anyway." -Elbert Hubbard
​Ministers need friends too.

I wish I could tell you who to befriend, but I don't think that's fair.  In fact, I started to share a list of who not to choose and realized I was breaking all those rules and my friendships are working and helpful.  

The important thing is not to do life alone.  When things go crazy you will need someone to talk with about what is happening.  Choose someone trustworthy that you have established a relationship with and lean on them.

In Castaway, Tom Hanks has no one and relies completely on a volleyball that has a blood print for a face.  He uses a volleyball, Wilson, to confide in and have conversations with as he is stranded.  When we end up on the island as I have shared before, we must find our, "Wilson", and lean on them.  If they prove faithful they will help direct and restore us.  It may not fix the problem, but any time there is a problem, the best solution is to have someone to share the burden.

If you are a minister moving to a new place.  If you are a minister who operates alone.  If you are a minister that finds themselves lacking connections.  Make finding your "Wilson" your first order of business.  When you first arrive you probably won't need them.  A time will come when you will and you will be glad that you found them first.

Tuesday of this past week I posted on Facebook: "I would appreciate your prayers". I didn't explain and just so you know I don't plan to do so in this blog either. I'm not a huge fan of "unspoken prayer requests."  However, I am in a place where prayer is a desperately felt need and communicating the exactness of the prayer needed might distract from the actual prayer needed or cause more issues.  I'm sure you understand.
This is a season for me and I will need prayer throughout this entire time.  So, please continue to lift me up as I come to your mind.  

If you know me at all, you know I'm not good at being cryptic.  I say it like it is and am pretty much an open book.  Leah says that this sometimes gets me in trouble, because of the "way" I say things.  And she is right.  She is such a voice of wisdom to me and my great support.  She loves me and I love her.  We are a great team!  So, as I type this blog I am thinking about the reader and all the guesses you might be making as to what is the problem.  It's not my marriage and it's not my family.

I guess the foundational problem is that I am made in the image of God, set in motion by the Holy Spirit, to live a resurrected life under Christ, and yet living within the bounds of broken humanity.  Honestly, humanity has a better story than we choose to tell with our lives.  Joy seems to escape us...and it has escaped me from time to time.

I'm not sure what I expected when I posted a request for prayer.  I don't guess I expected so many likes and comments.  Maybe I didn't even expect people would pray.  I didn't expect people would call and text.  I did not post that on my wall for any of those reasons.  Those were some extra blessings.  Also an extra blessing was to see peers I have grown up with, church members from every place I have worked, family, friends, co-workers (past and present) and even near strangers choose to pray and then encourage me by notifying me.   I posted because even though I minister to others as a career I need prayers too.  So thank you for your prayers!  I appreciate your time with the Lord on my behalf.  I appreciate your words to Jesus for my sake.  I appreciate your utterings to the Spirit in honor of me.  

God hears our prayer!  I'm confident in that truth.  I'm humbled in that truth.  I promise to take the gift you gave me on Tuesday and both pay it back and pay it forward.

​I appreciate your prayers!

Taking Credit
Have you ever felt slighted?  Sure you have.  I have too.  My top love language is words of affirmation.  For me, it is more than a pat on the back and an attaboy.  I want people to see the effort and work I've put into something and then appreciate my part of its success.  "Good Job!" is great, but hearing "That was good, I loved how you..." is even better.  Sometimes things are a long string of events that lead to the end, or think of it as a puzzle, many pieces make the whole.  I love doing ministry with others.  There have been countless times where I kicked something off as an idea or began its first movement only to delegate and have someone else take it to the finish line.  And as you might guess, those taking it to the finish line are being congratulated and no one even knows that the one at the beginning with the idea, the vision, and the gift of delegation had anything to do with it at all.  Sometimes things are shared.  Once while I was doing youth ministry I had a friend doing youth ministry in a distant city.  He was stumped for what to do at his event and I shared what we had done recently.  He took what I did, almost verbatim, and used it for his group.  He drew great accolades for his work and his "fresh idea."  His wife even posted on social media about HIS great idea and its success.  Needless to say I was somewhat perturbed that I wasn't given any credit.  No credit for beginning things, even if it is the forming idea and no credit for the original when shared with someone else.  And as a person who feels love through affirmation, it always hurts.

Who Gets the Credit?
And here is the truth.  When we call ourselves disciples of Jesus Christ the credit goes to Him, not us.  If I allow myself and if not redirected by my wonderful wife, I can spend a fair amount of time wallowing over the fact that I didn't get the credit I deserved.  I sit at the starting line pouting when I should be at the finish line celebrating the success of the idea.  When I should be thrilled with joy over how someone was empowered, I sulk, sucking all the power back from them to my pitiful self.  When I should feel a great sense of pride that my idea or event was successful for myself AND someone else, I waste time waiting on a shout out.  The person who crosses the finish line, the person who has been empowered, and the person who takes a great idea and makes it work again are being given credit.  Hopefully, they won't let it stay there.  Hopefully they take the credit and accolades they receive and reflect back to God and His goodness.  

My great ideas.  My gift of delegation.  My success that helps others.  These are not mine!  They are the Lord's!  The credit goes to Him.

Someone being saved is for His glory!
A well preached word is for His glory!
An engaging class is for His glory!
A mountaintop experience laid out for others is for His glory!

Who gets the credit?

God, Jesus, Spirit!

I sat down to interview a long-time minister in my tradition for a college assignment when I was barely 20 years old.  My main question was, "How have you been sustained in ministry for this long?" followed by "How do you plan to continue in ministry for your future?"  The answer to both questions had a common denominator:  Community.

I'm not sure about other professions, but ministry can be a lonely place.  The people who understand you the best are either your co-workers, family, or other ministers.  While I worked in Texas I had the privilege to be around many other ministers that I went to college with or our ministries partnered together at some point.  I moved to Arkansas 5 years ago and am still trying to create those kinds of partnerships and community.  Many times you can feel like you are on an island...deserted...all alone.  You hit a tough season in ministry and there is nowhere else to turn.  There is no-one else to share your experiences.  You tend to do your best to push through the season with all of its darkness to get to the other side.  It can be a lonely place.

When people go to an island for vacation it is a refreshing, magical time.  When someone crashes and wakes up on an island it is a time where you feel overwhelmed and LOST (pun intended).  When you are on a deserted island, all you want is rescue.  

In the meantime you search for your basic needs:  shelter, fire, food, water, and company.  In the ministry scenario you are searching for direction, support, and refreshment.  Visiting an island for solitude and time with God can be refreshing and magical.  Stranded on an island can be disorienting and trying.

Allowing your minister a time to visit an island will keep them from being stranded on one.  The call of a minister is to take care of the sheep and proclaim the word of God.  The responsibility of the church is to nurture their minister, support him/her, and proclaim the word of God.  Churches don't hire ministers to take care of them.  Churches hire ministers to partner with them and then they pay those ministers a fair salary so that they can focus prominently on leading that church to throne of God and to His communities.  

But ministers, we have a responsibility too!  We must decide to lay down any "Savior Complex" and do ministry surrounded by community and support from other ministers.  Ministering from an island helps no one and soon it will just be you.  Minister from the community and visit the islands.